pam pam cuap

when you have to let go

2010-12-26T03:42:00.000-08:00

hari ini, dakuh akan membagikan suatu renungan yang bisa bikin kita mikir. apa iya, sesusah itu untuk melepaskan seseorang dari hidup kita?
well, pada awalnya emang susah.. dakuh juga merasa gitu kok.. apalagi kalo seseorang itu udah lumayan dapet porsi yang cukup besar dalam hati kita..

well, the point is, dikau harus tegas, chyin!
look at the reality.. is that someone worth enough to fight for?
is he/she treat you as a priority? or maybe just an option?

baru-baru ini, dakuh baru membuat sebuah keputusan untuk letting go..
setelah menimbang-nimbang dan berpikir secara rasional (and did some reality testing, too, of course), akhirnya keputusan itu dibuat..

I'll tell you by these words..

the one who truly loves you, will never want to see you sad
he'll try everything just to make you smile
this is the one worth fighting for..

the one who "loves" you just for fun, will never care whether you're happy or sad when you're with them
all they care about is their own fun
this is the one you have to let go..

the one who truly loves you, will always be there for you
no matter you need them or not
this is the one worth fighting for..

the one who "loves" you just for fun, will always be there only if they need you
they won't be there when you need them
this is the one you have to let go..

when you're far from him, but he doesn't have any intention to chase another girls
this is the one worth fighting for..

when you're far from him, but he's still have a lot of girls to play with
this is the one you have to let go..

when he cares for you, yet he's still care with another girls
this is the one you have to let go..

when he cares for you, and only you
this is the one worth fighting for..

because letting go is not about impossibility..
it's about a decision..

so which one you choose? :)

a little note:
to someone worth fighting for in my life
thank you.. for showing me such a great love.. for always be there for me, even when i hurt you..
i realize now.. you're the one worth fighting for.. *big hug*

to someone i have to let go
well, this is the end.. no more "us".. because i realized, i was just your options.
and i don't want it anymore.. so i let you go.. :)

2010-11-14T07:20:00.000-08:00

alone tonight.. listening to this song over and over again..
maybe if you listen to it, you'll realize.. :)

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in..
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you..

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another..
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now..

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you..
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by.. Didn't I tell you..

But I can't spell it out for you,
no its never gonna be that simple.
no I can't spell it out for you..

If you just realized what I just realized,
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another..
Just realized what I just realized,
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now..

It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too..
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way,
It could be the same for you..

If you just realized what I just realized,
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another..
Just realized what I just realized,
we'd never have to wonder
Just realized what I just realized..

OoOoOOo

missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now

Realize by Colbie Caillat

moving on without you

2010-11-13T09:31:00.000-08:00

finally I realize..
she means everything to you..
maybe she doesn't know the darkest part of you,
she just knows the good side..
meanwhile, I've seen your evil side..

seeing the two of you together, it's hurting me..
but I know there's nothing I can't do..
I lose..
I don't know how to kill this feeling..

maybe, if we didn't go that far,
I just need a little time to erase you outta my life..
maybe, if I haven't met you,
my life wouldn't be miserable like now..

now I finally realize..
we'll never be together..

thank you..
for giving me such a wonderful memories in this few months..
thank you..
for making me realize that there's someone else who really cares for me..

now I'm going back to him..
maybe we'll be just friend..
or maybe we can be foe..
I'll try not to remember all the bad things you've done to me..

cause I'll move on without you..
I know it's hard, but I'll try..

a confession

2010-07-09T09:40:00.000-07:00

after a long time no blogging, finally i decided to blog again.. :)

well, my life has moved on so far..
and here the story goes..

it's hurt when you know you'd already fall in love with a person
but you don't know whether he loves you back or not

i feel it
i love him..
but i don't know what he feels for me..
i had made a big decision in my life
i dedicate my life to love him..

but this is how the story goes..
when you love someone, you'll never count the disadvantage of loving him
all you know is just love him, love him, and love him more..
even though sometimes he hurts you
yet you still love him..

call me stupid
call me blind
but i can't stop loving him..

i'm just hoping
that somewhere, somehow..
he'll know my true feelings for him..

to Mr. XXX out there, if you read it, then you'll know..
my heart is yours since that day.. :)

terlanjur cinta.. T.T

2009-02-09T16:09:00.000-08:00

Waktu bergulir lambat merantai langkah perjalanan kita
Berjuta cerita terukir dalam menjadi sebuah dilema
Mengertikah engkau perasaanku tak terhapuskan

Malam menangis tetes embun basahi mata hatiku
Mencoba bertahan diatas puing-puing
Cinta yang telah rapuh
Apa yang ku genggam tak mudah untuk aku lepaskan

Aku terlanjur cinta kepadamu
Dan tlah ku berikan seluruh hatiku
Tapi mengapa baru kini kau pertanyakan cintaku

Aku pun tak mengerti yang terjadi
Apa salah dan kurang ku padamu
Kini terlambat sudah untuk dipersalahkan
Karna sekali cinta aku tetap cinta

Mencoba bertahan diatas puing-puing
Cinta yang telah rapuh
Apa yang ku genggam tak mudah untuk aku lepaskan

Aku terlanjur cinta kepadamu
Dan tlah ku berikan seluruh hatiku
Tapi mengapa baru kini kau pertanyakan
Kau pertanyakan cintaku

Kini terlambat sudah untuk dipersalahkan
Karna sekali cinta
Karna sekali cinta aku tetap cinta

hmm.. awalnya gw denger nih lagu di acara dahsyat-nya RCTI.. *maklum selama liburan gw jd nonton tipi mlulu

pas pertama kali denger.. lagunya lumayan jg.. boleh jg lah si rossa duet ama pasha.. waktu itu gw ga terlalu perhatiin liriknya.. setelah beberapa hari "keracunan" dahsyat, lama2 gw jd sadar sebenernya tuh lagu tentang apa!!!

first.. tuh lagu menggambarkan keadaan rossa n pasha sendiri.. as you know, mereka sama2 punya masalah dalam rumah tangganya. hmm.. gw jadi tambah merasa mereka emang cocok buat duet nyanyiin tuh lagu..

but the second one.. menohok hati!!! coz i realize that this song represents my life!!! my love life!!! oh my God, dalem banget.. pas banget.. sialnya gw ga bisa nangis.. ga mungkin donk gw nangis2 ga jelas di depan bokap+nyokap+ade gw??!!! padahal keinginan buat nangis udah ga bisa ditahan lg..

then.. why i said this song represents my love life?? liat aja liriknya... semuanya pas.. yup, semuanya!! selama ini banyak lagu yg mirip ama hidup gw.. tapi cuma mirip!! ga ampe pas semuanya kayak nih lagu!! hiks..

apalagi lirik terakhir di refrain-nya..

karna skali cinta, aku tetap cinta

huwaaa... i wanna cry... T.T

baru sembuh dari sakit langganan..

2009-02-03T02:25:00.000-08:00

back to blog..
setelah kemaren seharian gw terkapar di ranjang..
ga makan..
ga minum..
ga mandi..
ga gosok gigi juga..
hehehe.. bukannya jorok.. tapi bener2 ga sanggup buat bangun..

jadi ceritanya gini, kemaren gw sakit lg.. sakit langganan.. knp gw blg langganan? karena kira2 3 bulan sekali gw sakit kayak gini..
tuh khan ampe gw itungin.. abis lumayan sering sih..

suspect sementara sih, gara2 masuk angin.. soalnya tiap gw masuk angin, pasti jadi ga enak badan, n buntut2nya jadi kram perut.. nah, klo udah kram perut ini yg menyiksa.. perut melilit kayak dipelintir2, ga bisa bangun, badan meriang, ga bisa makan atau minum... makan dikit, muntah! minum dikit, muntah jg!! udah minum obat, eh tetep aja muntah!

nah, kemaren ini (waktu senin dini hari) tuh emang anginnya gile banget kencengnya.. hujan angin, boo.. padahal gw tidur udah selimutan, rapet d pokoknya.. eh, dasar angin bandel, masih aja bisa masuk.. makanya paginya perut gw langsung ga enak gitu.. hiks..

huhh.. sebel d.. ampe gw ga bisa ngapa2in seharian..
ga bisa makan enak, minum aja susah... ga bisa online... ga bisa jalan2.. hehehe..

tapi sekarang udah mendingan sih, tadi udah bisa makan (walaupun ga sebanyak biasanya). huehehehe.. n lebih enak lg setelah minum hot chocolate.. hmm.. yummy~~~

i want more hot chocolate, please~~~

bride wars

2009-01-31T06:19:00.000-08:00

yup, bride wars!! kenapa gw ampe nge-blog hari ini?? karena gw pengen nonton bride wars!!! loh?? *susah dicerna yah?.. hehe..

buat yg blom tau bride wars, liat aja resensinya disini..
http://www.kapanlagi.com/a/bride-wars.html

okay, jadi gini ceritanya teman-temin dan kawan-kawin sekalian.. tadi siang gw ke TA ama cowo gw.. niatnya sih mau beli bluetooth headset buat HP dia, walopun akhirnya ga jd karena stoknya abis..

nah, begitu menginjakkan kaki di depan TA, gw liat di papan pajangan bioskop ntu, bride wars udah ada!!! studio 2.. hwaaa... pengen nonton.. dan berhubung tujuan utama ke TA ntu ga terpenuhi, khan mendingan nonton.. betul ga, saudara2?? *kedip2 mata

jadi.. dimulailah segala macem usaha buat ngebujuk si koko biar mau nonton bride wars.. tapi berhubung hari sabtu.. tiketnya mahal booo.. ga rela.. klo dibayarin sih gw rela2 aja.. hehehe.. padahal udah bujuk2, sempet ngambek jg.. eh, dia ga mau.. yah udah d..

usaha gw ga berhenti ampe situ. abis itu gw telp nasya, ngajak dia nonton.. eh, tuh anak kunyuk jg ga mau.. hiks.. usaha terakhir, telp cici gw, ajakin nonton jg, tapi dia jg ga bisa.. blom gajian.. hiks.. yah udah, nyerah d..

ngiks...
ada yg mau nemenin gw nonton bride wars ga???

kaskus.. cepatlah sembuh...

2009-01-30T07:37:00.001-08:00

baru kali ini gw bener2 bete karena kaskus lg "sakit".. hehe..

dari semalem kaskus sakit, gw masih tahan2 walopun udah ngebet pengen ngepost n menjenguk trit twilight.. padahal gw mau bikin trit, udah ada idenya.. huhuhuhu..

sekarang gw jd bingung mau ngapain.. cek e-mail, udah.. ngurusin fs, udah.. ngurusin fb, udah.. bergosip ria, udah.. mau download lagu, inetnya lg lemot.. T.T

haduh2... mimin.. cepatlah sembuhkan kaskus.. hampa nih hidup tanpa ngaskus.. hehehe..

hampanya....

learn from kungfu panda

2008-12-11T07:23:00.000-08:00

this is a "quite" old movie.. i've watched it many times. but now, i'm making this article in order to share with you all, and to fulfill my "entrepreneurship" task.. ^^

Kungfu panda is a story about a panda named Po. His father sold noodles in the village, and he wanted Po to continue the noodle business. But, Po's desire was different. He didn't want to sell noodles like his father, he wanted to be a kungfu expert, like the furious five [Tiger, Crane, Mantis, Viper, and Monkey]. And suddenly, his fate changed by an accident he made himself..

As you know, after that Po was guessed by all the people as a legendary warrior, the Dragon Warrior. And so his life changed.. He had to practice kungfu with Master Shifu. At first, Po was nothing. He can't do nothing, and the furious five also laughed at him. But as time goes by, he kept practicing until he could master all the kungfu movements that was taught by his master. Until one day, he had to fight Tai Lung. And so the story goes on.. finally, Po was able to beat Tai Lung. What's the secret recipe? The answer is "There is NO secret recipe!". Po can do it because he keep trying, and trying, and trying, when other people said he couldn't. He didn't listen all people that defied him. That was Po's secret recipe..

And what about us? Could we be like Po? Of course, we could be like Po because to be "something" that we wanna be, we don't need special recipe or special skill to make it happen. All we have to do is just keep trying until we can reach our dream. There's nothing impossible if we wanna try. Like Po, maybe it's impossible for him to master kungfu. Just look at his body, the simple thing, it's overweight.. :p, but it's possible, right? He can be what he wanna be..

The same thing could be happened to us, if we dare to dream and never be tired to try. For this case, to be an entrepreneur, we don't need special recipe or entrepreneurship skills. All we have to do is try..

-Pamela-

and the award goes to...

2008-10-23T02:12:00.000-07:00

kmrn pertama kalinya gw ikut acara wisuda kampus, yg digelar di aula kampus tercinta *woekz.. lebhaii deh.. (gw sendiri jg eneg, hehe..)

kenapa gw ikut acara wisuda? karena gw dapet kemala award? kenapa gw dapet kemala award? nah lo tanya aja tuh ama si kemot. hehe..

jadi, sesuai pemberitahuan 1 hari sebelumnya, gw diharapkan n diwajibkan dateng ke kampus jam 7 pagi, pake kemeja putih, celana item, n sepatu pantovel. ngumpul langsung di aula kemala jam 7 teng!!!

hari rabu [kmaren maksudnya], gw bangun pagi2 jam 5.30. langsung mandi, gsk gigi, ritual2, etc.. ga lupa minum susu dulu, biar gw ga pingsan di jalan. hehe.. jam 6 lewat dikit gw udah siap, tapi gw merenung lagi [halah.. gaya gw..], bener ga yah jam 7 teng udah pada ngumpul di aula?? jangan2 ntar gw dateng kepagian lagi.. setelah merenung + ditelp ama si koko juga, akhirnya gw mutusin untuk berangkat rada telatan. gw berangkat jam 7 kurang 15 menit. jalan udah pelan2, sepelan mungkin pokoknya. trus naek kendaraan official ke kampus [metromini 91]. wkwkwkwk.. duduk paling depan, udah kayak naek jet coaster aja. sopirnya ngebut pula.. untung gw ga ampe teriak lagi. hehehehe..

nah, gara2 tuh sopir ngebut, gw nyampe kampus jadi kecepetan. jam 7.10 gw nyampe. lewat pintu belakang kampus, walopun akhirnya mesti muter juga lewat pintu depan karena aulanya terisolasi [baca: tertutup rapat2] biar ac-nya ga keluar2. begitu masuk ke aula, gw langsung shock. buset deh.. dekornya bukan kayak mau wisudaan, tapi kayak mau kawinan... huahahahaha... bunga dimana2, ada bbrp panitia yg udah nunggu di depan aula dan udah siap2 nyambut, ada petugas security juga. buset dah...

gw celingak-celinguk kiri-kanan, nyariin makhluk2 yg dresscode-nya sama kayak gw juga [baca: yg dapet award juga], tapi ga ada satupun makhluk2 itu yg batang idungnya udah keliatan di aula. akhirnya gw sms tin2 [tmn sekelas gw yg jg dapet award], not delivered. hmm.. bagus!! akhirnya gw memberanikan diri untuk nanya ke security, kurang lebih begini deh gw nanya-nya..

gw: "maaf, mas.. yang dapet award itu ngumpulnya dimana yah?"

security A : "waduh, saya ga tau.. coba tanya sama yg itu." [gw di-pingpong]

akhirnya gw nanya ama security B, the same question..

security B: "wah.. tanya ama panitia aja, mbak.."

then, gw tengok kiri-kanan lagi, nyariin panitia. akhirnya gw nemu 1. hehe..
gw nanya lah ama dia, the same question again..

dia jawab.... intinya dia juga ga tau. eh cape deh..

untung gw ngeliat bu ritta (org BAA). akhirnya gw nanya ama dia n gw dapet pencerahan. hahaha.. ternyata disuruh duduk di bangku yg udah disediain di sebelah kanan stage. oh my god.. terlalu di depan. gw males.. n begitu gw duduk, ternyata blom ada yg dateng, 1 org pun!!! hebat... kira2 jam 8an, barulah pada nongol tuh yg dapet award. sumpeh.. mending tadi gw tidur lagi... hixx...

akhirnya wisuda dimulai jam 8.30. dimulai dgn sambutan dari kemala motik a.k.a kemot, yg kacau abis.. padahal dia udah pidato pake teks, tapi tetep aja salah baca. masa "orangtua yang berbahagia" dibaca jadi "orangtua yang berbahaya"... wakakakakak... gw udah ngakak aja tuh kemaren. next, sambutan dari lakinya kemot, trus ada orasi juga dari menteri hukum n ham, gw udah setengah sadar tuh dengerinnya. udah lama, ga penting pula. huhh.. akhirnya mulai deh the real wisudanya. dimulai dari wisuda S2, trus fakultas ekonomi (buanyak buanget...), hukum, n psikologi. nah, awardnya ternyata setelah wisuda itu. acara terakhir!!! jadi gw nunggu hampir 5 jam, cuma buat mejeng, maju ke depan, terima piagam... huhh.. kalo duitnya langsung dikasih sih masih mending deh..

kelar wisuda, gw langsung makan. kelaperan banget. ga dikasih makanan pula. dasar gembel...

intinya, cape...!!!

not a little girl anymore...

2008-10-15T07:03:00.000-07:00

today...
yup, tepatnya hari ini, peralihan gw dari fase remaja ke fase dewasa awal..
kalo dipikir2, agak sedih juga, soalnya kepala gw udah "2". hehe.. but anyway, i'm still happy.

walopun hari ini gw lalui dengan kegiatan yg biasa2 aja. n badan agak lemes jg gara2 hormon yg lg beraksi, tapi gw tetep happy2. kul seperti biasa, n plgnya ke CL seperti biasa, maen pump tentunya. hahahahaha...

and now, gw mau umumin pemenang award "ngucapin happy b-day" ke gw tahun ini..

posisi pertama diisi oleh nasya dengan ucapan lewat sms yg dikirim hari ini tepatnya jam 00.00 WIB... prok3... niat bgt.. thx sweety.. i love it!

posisi kedua adik cowok gw satu2nya, sen2 a.k.a vincent, yg ngirimin sms juga (walopun isinya cuma 4 kata) jam 04.11 WIB.. tumben tuh anak udah bangun..

posisi ketiga diisi oleh mba iko, jam 04.59 WIB... sms jg, singkat jg, but i appreciate it so much.. thx, mba.. nanti kita "cranberry party" lagi yah... hihi..

posisi keempat.. hihi.. my honey!!! walopun dia kirim smsnya jam 06.01, tapi rasanya komplit deh kalo dia ngucapin, hehe.. luv u, koko...

posisi kelima diisi oleh elen, dia kirim sms jam 08.07.. lucu deh smsnya. thx yah, len.. ^^

next, disusul oleh rina yg kirim sms jg jam 08.37, tepatnya pas gw baru menginjakkan kaki di pintu gerbang kampus. hehe.. thx, rin..

berikutnya may-bee menyusul dengan ngucapin langsung+salaman, sebelum kul PSP. hehe.. thx jg yah, cumi..

and next anak2 kelas gw and temen2 gw di fs, yg terlalu panjang untuk disebutin satu-persatu.. tapi thx udah melengkapi kebahagiaan gw hari ini..

may God always bless u all, prenz..

i couldn't be so happy like this without u all.. ^^v

-mel-

mie, telor, ayam...

2008-09-02T07:39:00.000-07:00

tadi siang, seperti biasa, abis dari kampus gw n temen2 gw mau ke CL..
abis kelar ngumpulin tugas n keperluan2 lainnya, kita langsung cabut. nunggu taksi di pintu belakang kampus.

ga berapa lama, ada taksi dari arah seberang. yah udah, langsung kita stop-in. sambil nunggu tuh taksi muter balik arah, gw lanjut ngobrol2 lagi ama temen2 gw. sekilas gw liat tampang tuh sopir taksi, judes amat... kesannya galak gitu. pasti diem aja deh, pikir gw.

begitu masuk ke dalam taksi, pasang seatbelt, mulailah keanehan terjadi...
pertama2 gw bilang ke sopirnya kalo destination-nya tuh ke CL. n mulailah dia bersuara...

sopir : "udah saya tebak. pasti mau ke CL. kalo ke arah sana baru ke TA. ga mungkin jauh2, soalnya ongkosnya khan mahal..."

gw n temen2 gw cuma ber-hehehe ria aja...

baru nyampe belokan pertama, tuh sopir taksi bersuara lagi...

sopir : "suka makan mie yah?"

gw yg emang biasanya duduk di depan, merasa ditanya gitu, ga enak juga, akhirnya gw jawab...

gw: "ga gitu suka..."

sopir: "suka makan telor??"

gw : "ga juga..."

sopir : "suka makan ayam yah?"

gw : "kalo ayam mah siapa sih yang ga doyan?" (bener khan, coba aja u tanya ama org2, pasti pada doyan!)

dalam hati gw mikir, nih sopir apa2an sih. aneh... eh, ternyata bener...

sopir : "ketauan khan... tuh, jerawatan..." (oh shit!)

gw udah mulai kehilangan kesabaran, akhirnya gw cuma ber-oh ria aja...

next... dia ceramah panjang lebar. tapi intinya sih tentang mie, telor, n ayam. ga sehat lah, bisa bikin jerawatan lah, bisa bikin ubanan lah, bisa bikin mata rabun lah, kanker, tumor, asam urat, mandul, impoten, n yg paling heboh... bisa bikin produksi susu (susu cewek lah) jadi kering!!!

aduh... biarpun tuh sopir ngomong ada benernya juga, tapi tetep aja gw n temen2 gw bete abis! mereka sih enak duduk di belakang, bisa ngobrol2 n ga dengerin ceramah tuh sopir. nah gw!!! butek abis booo...

plis deh. gw emang tau itu ga sehat. tapi asalkan ga sering2 gpp kali. ga usah terlalu parno gitu...
begitu nyampe di CL, gw bayar, trus langsung buru2 keluar dari tuh taksi. si rin2 malah niat nyatet nomor taksinya, biar lain kali ga naik tuh taksi lagi. hehehehe...

pas udah turun, si may baru ngomong kalo sebelumnya di pernah naek taksi yang sopirnya dia juga!!! eh cape dehhhh...

my new shoes

2008-08-25T08:08:00.001-07:00

kemaren ini (tepatnya hari sabtu), akhirnya gw beli juga sepatu yg sejak sebulan lalu gw idam-idamkan. hihihi...

gambarnya ada di atas. pas pulang, gw iseng2 ukur tinggi hak-nya. 10 cm booo... pantesan gw makenya ampe pegel2. hehehe...

from dust to dust

2008-08-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

gw baru aja pulang...
abis dari acara kremasi. jadi tadi gw ke dadap (baca: kampung halaman) deh. hehehehe...

kenapa gw baru pulang langsung nge-blog?? karena gw pengen nyampein pesan yg cukup important. tadi, selama di krematorium, gw sempetin ngobrol2 ama saudara2 gw (yg notabene lebih tua dari gw). and guess what?? daritadi yg mereka omongin cuma kayak gini...

"inilah manusia, jadi debu lagi..."

"kita manusia ga ada apa2nya yah. kalo udah begini (baca: meninggal), tinggal nama doank..."

etc...

dan gw tadi jd merenung. iya jg yah... kita tuh hidup di dunia ini cuma kayak ngontrak. apalagi sekarang manusia cepet banget matinya. tadi aja pas di rumah duka, gw perhatiin yg meninggal tuh kebanyakan masih tergolong muda (30-60 thn). yg lebih dari 80 tahun cuma ada 2 orang doank.

tadi gw ngelayat saudara gw, suaminya cici (sepupu gw), and umurnya baru 53 tahun. masih tergolong muda. dan dia meninggal bisa dibilang tiba2. tiba2 stroke, koma 1 minggu, trus hari selasa kemaren meninggal.

shock banget yah klo jadi istrinya. daritadi aja gw ga tega ngeliat cici gw nangis melulu... rasanya menyayat hati banget. gw jd mikir, gmn kalo gw di posisi dia??? gmn rasanya kalo gw harus melepas kepergian suami gw. oh God... ga kebayang deh. rasanya mendingan ikut aja. pokoknya tadi gw ga bisa nahan empati gw deh. padahal gw udah berusaha tenang dengan baca buku (karena gw ga bisa ikut acara sembahyang-nya). tapi tetep aja gw ga tega denger cici gw nangis.

hasil renungan gw tadi siang...
gw mau selama gw hidup, gw pergunakan masa kontrak gw di dunia ini dengan sebaik2nya. supaya pas nanti gw "pulang", gw ga nyisain kesedihan buat orang2 yg gw sayang...

time to say goodbye

2008-08-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

se non ci sei tu con me, con me.
Su le finestre
mostra a tutti il mio cuore
che hai acceso
chiudi dentro me
la luce che
hai incontrato per strada

Time to say goodbye
paesi che non ho mai
veduto e vissuto con te
adesso si li vivro.
Con te partiro
su navi per mari
che io lo so
no no non esistono piu
It's time to say goodbye.

Quando sei lontana
sogno all'orizzonte
e mancan le parole
e io si lo so
che sei con me con me
tu mia luna tu sei qui con me
mio sole tu sei qui con me
con me con me con me

Time to say goodbye
paesi che non ho mai
veduto e vissuto con te
adesso si li vivro.
Con te partiro
su navi per mari
che io lo so
no no non esistono piu
con te io li rivivro.
Con te partiro
su navi per mari
che io lo so
no no non esistono piu
con te io li rivivro.
Con te partiro
Io con te.

gw lagi suka banget ama nih lagu *walaupun udah basi sih sebenernya...
tapi gara2 nonton indonesian idol kemaren, pas liat gisel n mike nyanyi nih lagu, wuiiihhh... langsung poll in lop gw ama nih lagu!!! keren gitu loh, apalagi mereka nyanyiinnya mantep banget. sungguh sangat disayangkan kenapa bukan si gisel yang menang...

akhirnya dengan segala jerih payah, kemaren gw nyari nih lagu. ketemu! versinya andrea bocelli n sarah brightman yang ternyata... lebih wuiihhh lagi!!! suaranya mantap banget. bravo!!!

sekalian juga gw nyari ama liriknya+translatenya. nih lagu "dalem" banget artinya. jadi pengen nyanyi, tapi suara gw bisa mampus kalo dipaksa kayak suaranya si sarah brightman. huahahahahahaha...

nih translate-nya...

When I`m alone
I dream on the horizon
and words fail;
yes, I know there is no light
in a room
where the sun is not there
if you are not with me.
At the windows
show everyone my heart
which you set alight;
enclose within me
the light you
encountered on the street.

Time to say goodbye,
to countries I never
saw and shared with you,
now, yes, I shall experience them,
I`ll go with you
on ships across seas
which, I know,
no, no, exist no longer;
with you I shall experience them.

When you are far away
I dream on the horizon
and words fail,
and yes, I know
that you are with me;
you, my moon, are here with me,
my sun, you are here with me.
with me, with me, with me,

Time to say goodbye,
to countries I never
saw and shared with you,
now, yes, I shall experience them,
I`ll go with you
on ships across seas
which, I know,
no, no, exist no longer;
with you I shall re-experience them.
I`ll go with you
on ships across seas
which, I know,
no, no, exist no longer;
with you I shall re-experience them.
I`ll go with you,
I with you.

how stupid...

2008-08-03T06:50:00.000-07:00

gw ketik posting ini buat seseorang yg bodoh banget...
baru aja gw mau jujur tentang feeling gw ke dia, eh dia udah ngilang lagi!!!

gpp sih, justru bagus malah, biar gw ga dilema berkepanjangan. gw akuin, gw suka diperhatiin ama dia, dinyanyiin, dinina-boboin, etc.. but, my heart still belongs to my boyfriend. ga tau kenapa, walaupun ada cowok lain yg care ama gw, tapi gw tetep ga bisa berpaling dari cowok gw. hehehe... rada mellow nih emang. tapi gw mesti keluarin semua isi hati gw.

so, padahal kemaren ini gw mau jujur ama dia. jujur, gw emang suka diperhatiin ama dia. namanya juga cewek, butuh asupan perhatian. dan jujur aja, dia itu cobaan terberat for my relationship. jadi gw mau jujur n say thanks buat semuanya. tapi gw mau say sorry jg, karena walopun gw suka ama cara dia merhatiin gw, dia tetep ga bisa jd cowok gw. he n my boyfriend are 2 different man. and i love my boyfriend so much, karena se-menyebalkan apapun, dia tetep bisa menangin hati gw.

to mr. X out there, i just want u to know my feeling for u...

free inet.. ^^

2008-08-01T01:07:00.000-07:00

mumpung lg di rumah may-bee nih. huahahahahaha...
sempet2in nge-blog ah...

today, finally i've found the answer for my "4 days dillema".. *puitis amat yah gw... -.-"
and the answer is, say bubbye!
walopun masih rada susah, tapi yah harus. no other way out.
fiuhhh... lega juga sih. hahahahaha...

kacau... kacau...
dasar manusia &%$#&*^%%$# (baca: coward).
pintu sudah tertutup untukmu.
hehehehe...

bingung!!!

2008-07-29T07:05:00.000-07:00

okay.. this is my new blog.

dan sesuai dgn judulnya, tema blog gw hari ini is... BINGUNG!!!

1. hari minggu kemaren gw reunian. 45 angkatan bo... gw kira acaranya bakalan seru, ngumpul2 ama tmn2 SMA, tapi ternyata, sumpeh deh, ga jauh beda ama pensi di sekolahan pada zaman dahulu kala. acaranya kakek2 n nenek2 angkatan jebot *maklum lah, nyumbangnya pd gede2...
akhirnya karena anak2 angkatan gw [yg secara masih "fresh" gitu loh] bosen ama tuh acara reunian, memutuskan utk pindah ke senci. tapi ternyata pd makan dulu di plaza senayan. yah udah, gw [yg secara udah janji ama seseorang] sms, gw kasih tau klo tempat ketemuan dipindah jd ke PS. abis makan rame2 [ama manto, may, naz, rhene, n elvin], gw turun ke bawah buat nemuin tuh org. setelah ditunggu2 lumayan lama [karena dia kira senci=PS], akhirnya dateng jg.
muter2, jalan2, ke toko buku, n ada sedikit insiden kecil yg buntutnya gw jd misah ama tmn2 gw.

BINGUNG deh, reuni kok ga jelas gitu. trus jg bingung knp one of my friend yg awalnya adem-ayem aja bisa jadi kesurupan gitu???

2. acara lanjut ke CL. mau maen pump, eh di depan fun city kondisinya udh kayak matahari kalo lg sale 80%!!! gw liat dr jauh, yg keliatan topi kupluk doank. huhh.. udah deh. itu mah ga salah lg. udah positif 100%!!! pasti dia! siapa lg kalo bukan si Mr. Lebaiii *ex-nya may-bee...

nah yg ini juga BINGUNG!!! knp kalo Mr. Lebaiii maen pasti dikerumunin ama org2. emangnya apa bagusnya sih? tampang ga cakep, maen banyak gaya. mending kalo skornya tinggi, dia mah maen 'deja vu' aja cuma dapet 300rb-an. pdhl gw biasa maen bisa 400-500rb! huhh.. dasar gembel..

3. karena ga jadi maen pump, akhirnya nonton "setannya kok beneran". lumayan lucu, tapi rada vulgar.

BINGUNG jg deh, kenapa film indo skrg ga bisa kalo ga pake buka2an dikit??? takut ga laku? capedee...

4. abis nonton akhirnya gw bisa maen pump [walopun cuma sekali doank. hahahahahaha...], n sialnya pas lg maen 'deja vu', combo gw putus di tengah jalan gara2 suatu hal. huahahahahaha...

pulang dari CL, gw tepar abis. kaki nyut2an n lecet gara2 pake sepatu yg "ga bersahabat" ama kaki gw. perasaan gw campur aduk deh tuh pas hari minggu. antara seneng, sebel, kecewa, capek, bingung, n etc...

hari senin, bangun rada telat karena tepar. abis mengerjakan beberapa hal, gw telp may, dia ngajak nonton performance manto. karena bete jg, akhirnya gw mau2 aja diajak. siang hari sih berjalan mulus, tapi setelah curhat ama tuh kambing [baca: may], gw makin CONFUSED aja. huaaaa...

aku harus gimana nih???
between love, friendship, n commitment...

yg pasti...
gw BINGUNG...!!!

-mel-